on the public sharing of grief

i did not gnash my teeth(nor rent my garments
nor make a public demonstration of private sorrow
in fact,i did not know who to share with
so this ended up in a poem.Ends come first-
how well we do depends upon what happens before
Beginnings we have little choice in-we make do
through childhood,adolescence,adulthood
with a limited repertoire of responses
that define us as individual(just like every body else
Endings are personal.We share them like intimacies-
first ,the family we were born into
Next,the friends we choose.Circles ripple out-
who knows depends upon who you want to know-
like a koan or some parable.Mystery only comes
when we edit and elide emotions.All reactions random.
Meditate upon transience until you are
Scream in rage until redfaced apoplexy passes
Reach out(as i reach out to you now-
to seek to understand why some pass faster than others
When you know,perhaps it will be time to go
While we are here-we share.If you know,do tell me
why death is so unfair.
FOR DR MARVIN KIMBROUGH
(departed 1am Labor Day September 6,2010)